Of Coffee and Post Stamps...

       Have you ever had one of those days where it's probably better to lock yourself in a room away from everyone and anyone? Sure! We've all been there, including myself. Or, the possibility, you could maybe, just maybe climb into bed, pull the covers over your head, close your eyes and wake up on the "flip-side" could be another one of those days. What do we do when these days happen? Do we give in to these emotions, blaming this or that? Do we yell at the post-man or scream at the Dunkin Donuts barista? My years of experience tell me that this isn't the way to handle life. It's best to just ignore those feelings, tell yourself it's going to be ok, smile and talk sweetly. As much as we want to give attitude or really tell that person what we are thinking, in the end, when your mind is clear and those feelings are gone, things will be worse and feelings will be hurt. I have learned that it's better to not say anything if my words are going to hurt someone. It's better not to throw salt on someones wounds, and it's better to think everything through before responding in any given situation. Have I perfected this? No, but I do believe that I am getting better and better every single day. It's alright if you when you get home, away from everyone, to have a really good cry. Crying has a way of cleansing the soul and healing emotion. As a writer/artist, emotions do seem to be more magnified. If you are an artist of any kind, you know exactly what I am saying. You know that the creative side of your personality has a way of allowing you to feel and see everything a little differently than the rest of the world. Learning to work with your personality, and learning to control yourself is a must. Not everyone gets that. Not everyone can see or understand when you are having a melt-down. Some of us have a gift...a gift that enhances our ability to get and understand how others are feeling. Sometimes we have a way of reading between the lines or understanding what is going on with another person without them having to say anything.
       So, to wrap things up, why don't we purpose to take control of our emotions, to allow ourselves to feel, but to keep them in check and take care of them at the appropriate time. No, it's not fair to holler at the mail-man or pound our fist on the counter at our favorite coffee shop because the first sip you take is one of solid sugar. :-) I'm smiling as I write this because being human can be hilarious when you think about it! Allow yourself to be human, but learn from your mistakes and move on with your everyday living. Chow!

Sweet Wild Rose

Her bite is bittersweet, cutting down one’s pride yet soothing one’s soul

Her touch is effervescent, relieving one’s inner wounds and healing one’s fear

How I long to sweep her off her feet, how I desire to make her mine

How I treasure every single minute, hold close every single word spoken

How I close my eyes and imagine the life we would share on this earth

Walking hand in hand, sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings

How I lay back and I see what we could be, the best of friends

Though many would mock me to scorn and say I’m truly gone mad

Though it would be an outrage, a disaster in the making

I simply cannot care, for to lose her would be to lose a piece of my heart…

That piece that is most vital to my mortality, that part that is needed to keep me alive

I must not let go of this sweet soul, sent my way for this very purpose

I must pull her out of her field of wildflowers, for she stands out among them all, my sweet wild rose.

 

Far Away

I can feel you ever so close, your presence is real, your very essence

I close my eyes and breathe, like a brush of an angel’s wing across my face

Finger-tips brush my own, the faint scent of your perfume

Tears roll down my face, I clasp my hands in front of me and embrace this moment

A moment that comes and goes, a moment that is but too brief

I know you are there, I can feel you…

I can’t see you, but my spirit feels yours, so close, yet so far away

I raise my hand and touch your invisible one

I hear your voice inside my head, I see your smile, your laughter, your love

I open my eyes and then you are gone….running after you, come back to me

Don’t go away, I need you here beside me, I need to know you will stay

Chasing a mirage, sinking to the ground in desperation, a spiral of smoke and you are gone

I can’t see you, I can’t feel you, I can’t find you….where did you go?

It’s like you are hidden, far away, never to return, gone, gone, gone….

I can’t hear you anymore, your voice is but a whisper, your scent but a distant memory

Hidden from this world, far away in another world…gone until the time is right…

My human mind can’t understand this, my brain is but a fog, my memory but a vapor

All I feel is the love you left behind, placed in those near to me.

                                                                

 

Domino Effect

The day it all came crashing down all around me
I knew all along what was going on
But I tried to believe it wasn't true,
That you would be the one person I could trust
That you were different somehow...
I felt a connection but kept you at bay
I was slowly letting go, believing you were real
Then it was over...you revealed who you really were
It hurts me to think I ever trusted you
It breaks my very soul that I looked up to you...
Once upon a time, not very long ago,
I thought you were real, my ice was thawing....
How could you disappoint me so?
I thought this was different...then it started
The first hit was harsh, then when it finally hit me
I looked up and saw where I had gone wrong...
It started at the top and rolled on down
So hard, then it piled up....I came up for air....
This is so typical...harsh, cruel world....domino effect.

Déjà Vu

A torrent of voices heard across the still brook

Ripples of water flowing over the pebbles and broken rocks

A myriad of birds singing their daily news

Beams of sunlight warm the boulder upon which I rest

I look out over the mountain-tops and down to the valley below me

I see the streams of water, the fallen leaves upon the ground

I close my eyes and breathe in the warmth of the sun, the smell of earth

My hands run across the ruggedness of the rock, feeling every crevice and ridge

I’ve been here before but maybe in another life-time

I recall the feeling, the wonder of it all, and I’m not afraid.

Maybe I was scared before, of the height, the depth, the existence,

But now, fear is my enemy, warmth and peace take its spot.

Leaning back, I look up at the clouds and smile as the breeze rustles through my hair…

I know this feeling, it’s not an illusion… it’s a miracle taken place, a dream come true

Gazing again at what lay ahead, I understand what the mystery entailed, history was written…

In this very spot, hundreds of years before and I lived it….déjà vu…

 

 

This is ME

      My name is Elizabeth Hamm....I am me...I am a writer, a muser, a thinker, an author. My words flow like the sea...my words cease from being. At times they fly like the wind....other times, they are frozen like the tundra. I am a lover, loyal, free, strong and random....I won't fight unless it's for someone I love or what I believe in with my whole heart. I hate angry words. I hate sinister conversations. I despise confrontation. If I feel like I'm being threatened, I shut down like an electric generator on empty. If I don't know how to respond, I am silent. If I know you are irritated or upset, I feel this sudden need to make sure you are calm and feeling better. If you are crying, I am a shoulder to lean on. I never feel it's the wrong time to cry. I never see you as a failure just because you make a mistake. I am my biggest critic, and I'm sure I punish myself more than you ever could. I have this need to help the broken, to fix the lost, to restore the out of service. I listen with everything I have, and you have no doubt I care. I explain myself over and over until you begin to think I am apologizing, but in reality, I am just trying to convey what I'm thinking. I am silent....I am shy. In social gatherings, I listen, observe, smile, stand still. I have the ability to be adventurous and random, to laugh until I am crying and to make everyone around me laugh with the same fervor. I am goal-oriented, but sometimes I become side-tracked. I will get back on track if motivated, and often-times, I am self-motivated. I write poetry at random times and share them with my best friend until I'm sure she is rolling her eyes like, "Another one, Liz?" (just kidding!) I imagine what life would be like if I made certain decisions, and that I make those things happen. I used to sit still...for a while I was stagnant. I was afraid to move for fear everything would fall apart, but in doing so, I was slowly drifting away. I may be the quietest one in the room, but in reality, I know I probably have the most to say. I would have to say that I am romantic at heart, and that with time, that hasn't changed. Each and every day that I am married to the greatest man on earth, I thank my God for bringing him to me. He has patience and understanding and a sense of humor not many can forget. He is my other half, and I am sure we have many adventures ahead of us. My kids make me proud...my daughter is the greatest gift of a girl God could have ever given me. She has shown me what it means to love. Her smile and her heart are convicting. My son is the brightest boy with the biggest eyes and a heart to match. He challenges me and the most like me, it's scary. I am who I am, but I am a work in progress...a canvass not completed. If I have ever loved you, I will always love you. If I ever was your friend, I will be your friend until the end. I am ME.

Never Have to Say Good-bye

       This earth is just a temporary place
       Where we live and love and laugh
       You lived here with such a grace
       So loved until your final breath...
       You suffered heart-ache, found love and joy
       Through life, you travelled far
       All with a smile that radiated light
       Your presence, we all adored...
       You fought a good fight, you finished your race
       You kept on loving God
       The peace you had, with others, you shared
       We are thankful on this earth, you trod...
       We never have to say good-bye
       For you've reached the other shore
       Our tears are just temporary ones
       We love you forever more...
       You're walking streets of gold up there
       You've seen our Saviour's face
       Your loved ones who have gone before
       You've seen, their pain erased...
       We'll see you later, over there
       Our work down here's not done
       We'll miss you sorely, your precious smile,
       Your new life has just begun.

*written for Grandma Ruth R. Garten, gone on to her new home, 3/28/13