Thursday, April 28, 2011

The BIG WIND

       On May 31, 1985, I was awakened in the middle of the night by my mom who told me to get up and put on my socks and shoes. I could hear the wind whipping around our house, and I was afraid of thunderstorms to begin with; so, I immediately began to panick inside. I vaguely remember my dad ushering me, my mom and my baby sister down to our basement, and after he knew we were safe, he went upstairs out on our porch. By this time, my heart was pounding so loud, I could barely breathe, and my mom was as calm as could be as was my baby sister, Jo, who was only 3 months old and sound asleep in her little carseat. My dad came downstairs and prayed with us, and by then my knees were knocking together, I was so scared. My parents re-call me asking over and over again, "Where's the big wind? Are we going to be ok from the big wind?" I remember hearing what sounded like a freight train barreling over our house. I was so scared because I knew we didn't have any trains nearby, and I couldn't figure out what in the world the noise was. Later on, my mom told me that it was "the big wind" I was so afraid of. This tornado actually went over our house and touched down in a town nearby, demolishing a fire house, gas station and cemetary. My dad was out on the porch for most of the storm just watching the clouds. I remember that night and it had such an impact on my life, I decided to do one of my school reports on tornados. Tornados scared the daylights out of me because they seemed like this giant monster that man can't control.
       I remember watching, as a teenager, movies such as Twister, over and over again, in wonderment of these "storm-chasers" who actually lived to chase these monsters. To see the damage that can be done, clearly shows us that this is something that only can be controlled by a Higher Power. How could you research these storms and not believe in a mighty God and His creation?
       Last night was such a blurr to me...I don't know if I would've woken up because I was in such a deep sleep but when Josh, my husband woke me, I immediately became alert as I heard the storm whipping up outside. I could feel my heart begin to pound in my ears as I ushered my kids to the basement. Josh kept telling me to lay down on the bed he had made up for me and the kids, and all I could think was, he obviously doesn't know a mom very well because a mom will NOT go to sleep until she knows all is calm and her kids are safe. I sat on the edge of the bed "protecting them" and visualizing what I would do if a tornado did hit. At this time, I did not know that his parents were hit earlier in the night. It wasn't until I lay down that he decided to text it to me so as to not scare Charity and JW. I immediately jumped up again  and paced the floor. By then, the tornado warnings were up for our area, and I could feel my heart in my throat and my knees begin to knock, but I refused to say out loud just how scared I was. Here it was 26 years later, and this time, I was the mom and my two kids were watching me. I tried to comfort them and make them comfortable but I think they sensed the storm as we could still hear it in the basement. I didn't sleep all night...I only slept from midnight to 3 AM before the storm hit us. Then, even after the alerts were gone, I couldn't close my eyes without seeing images of disaster in my mind and wondering if our family had a roof over their heads as I was laying in a dry place. I felt guilty going to sleep knowing that I had family who was among devastation.
       After seeing the pictures of the devastation in Glade Spring, I know that God sent His protection to my family. There are no other explanations for it. Seeing the damage and wondering how in the world people survived that is unbelievable. I just have this peace that passes all understanding that God is in control and He takes care of His own. Thank you, Jesus, for my family and their safety. I don't have to fear "The Big Wind" because I know the God who is much greater than His creation.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Memories Still My Aching Heart

        I think, we as humans, don't want to see our loved ones move out of this world, but we, as Christians, know that this world is not our home, but Heaven is our final resting place. It's still hard to see someone we love move away; we miss them, not only because they are gone from our presence, but also because we don't know when our walk down here will end. In the past 30 years of my life, I have seen many end their walk down here, many of whom I loved as my own family. And, although, I am human and have shed many tears, I have that hope that I will see them all again. That in itself is a comfort.
        Some of my best friends have been up in years, but it didn't bother me because they have a wisdom beyond my years. I have endless memories of sunny days spent on a porch swing just talking "about the good old days," playing piano duets with one the greatest pianists I have ever known, Grandma Bobbi, and most recently, long talks in the kitchen of Grandma Mae. I spent endless hours with Grandma Bobbi, playing Scrabble, her favorite game, playing the piano, her favorite instrument, and talking. I'd often ride my bike to her house after my paper route was over or my homework was done in high school. She watched me grow up and often spoke of the time she babysat me while my parents went to an adult outing at church. Her favorite story was of me singing, "Zacchaeus was a wee little man and a wee little man was he...." I have no recollection of this event, but she reminded me every single time I came to visit. I would sit for hours at her piano, attempting to play songs too hard for my ability, but she was always the words of encouragement. We often played duets and just took turns playing the piano. When I received the news that she went Home, I was out of state in college. I had no way of going home to the funeral; all I had were the memories of which I am thankful.
        In the last several years, I have had the opportunity to meet yet another dear saint who became a close friend of mine, Grandma Mae. She never was able to have biological children, but she was blessed with more children and grandchildren than anyone I know. She loved my kids like her own grand kids, and would often "tear up" when I had to leave, walking me to my car and often standing at my window, talking away, hoping we could stay longer. Last year when she was in the hospital, my kids picked out a white, stuffed Easter bunny and had me give it to her. It meant the world to her, and every time she saw the kids, she'd say to them, "My Easter bunny is waiting for you on my couch; when are going to come and see him?" She kept everything anyone ever gave to her, and every time I'd visit her, she'd take the time to show me even if she had already showed me everything. After this past Christmas, she had ALL of her gifts from various people stacked on her couch, and we spent quite a long time going through everything and she'd have a story for each gift all the way to a pair of socks she swore she'd "never wear, but you should take them honey because they look more like your style."
        This past Sunday evening, I had an awesome "last talk" with Grandma Mae, and it was like she was trying to tell me "good-bye." I believe she already knew deep in her heart that it wouldn't be long. I laughed and said, "Don't talk like that! You're still young...what are you now, 25?" She just smiled and patted my hand. I asked her when her birthday was because she NEVER would tell me before. She told me it was past, January 23. I told her I'd be getting her a gift soon. She smiled again and gave me a big bear hug and told me she loved me.
        Wednesday evening, I heard the news she had finally gone Home. I didn't know it would affect me like it did, but I felt a deep ache in my heart. But, as I was walking outside around sunset last night, I looked at the sky and knew she was in the presence of our Lord and Earth was the farthest thing from her mind. It was selfish for me to want her back here. She was re-united with her husband, family members who had gone before and friends, but more importantly with the Christ who rose from the grave over 2000 years ago.
        I haven't told Charity and JW yet, Grandma Mae, but I will, I promise. They can treasure those memories with you, jumping in your leaves, playing with your stuffed animals, and the piles of junk food. I love you, and I'll see you again on the other side.