Inner Pain

       A dagger to the heart
   Left me bleeding and alone
   Too many questions
   Had turned my heart to stone...

   A dark fog surrounded me
   My way was so unclear
   Why had the sun blackened
   And those around me sneer?

   At night I'd lay to rest
   So sure this would go away
   Only to waken to dark
   Knowing much didn't sway...

   I heard their voices, distanced
   They clung to every word
   But I didn't know what I said
   It sounded so absurd...

   How can I save you
   While I am drowning still?
   How can I have an answer
   To shape your life and will?

   Where do I go from here
   While my baby looks to me
   To be the stronger being
   To set us both free?

   When will I surface
   From this sea of pain?
   It tends to grab and choke me
   With nothing left to gain...

   I look to Heaven for some answers
   My words all choked in tears
   I really need some answers
   To calm these inner fears...

   Surrounded by my loved ones
   I still feel all alone
   I'm in another world
   What you see is just a clone...

   So, God, what is the answer
   I really need to know
   If You're who You say
   Do you really love me still?

   I lift my trembling hand
   And place it into His
   I know no other way
   My life's an endless quiz...

   Dear God, I place my faith
   In You, far greater still
   You'll heal my broken heart
   In time, my life will heal...

   Just guide me and protect me
   Without You, I can't go
   I realize I'm still a mess
   And will cling to you so...

   Now I know You're with me
   And every troubled sigh
   I may never get the answers
   Until the day I die.

   Just guide me and direct me
   I cannot find my way
   Without You, I am helpless
   And have no words to say.

   Take care of those I love
   Since I can't seem to help
   And show them that I'm human
   With a broken heart.

                      ~~E.A.Hamm
                        7/20/10

*Written for my dear friend, Megan, who lost her brother on 7/08/10