Newness of Life

       Would you believe me if I told you that I've finally found my calling in life? I am almost 30 years old and have finally landed where my feet belong. I have always had this passion, but I never have been able to find a place to use it. I love working with kids in general, and yes, I have a teaching degree; I just have always wanted to actually make a difference in a child's life besides teaching them English. (although English will always be a passion of mine) I may have stated in an earlier blog about some of the kids I worked with in Chicago and how they impacted my life forever. That was over 7 years ago when I was in my earlier 20s! I have to say that I was in shock back then as to how a child can act the way some of these kids acted...then I was going into their homes and completely understanding their behaviors. So, now I have the opportunity to work with troubled kids again in a different kind of setting; in all, they are all the same---broken inside. I totally understand why they act the way they do; in no way am I a therapist but I know enough to know that they have no coping skills and that they are broken and need fixed. I have to say that the scariest part, to me, is knowing that they will not be in the program for long...that they are going back out into the real world where they messed up before coming there. I think the program is sound, and for the child that wants it, they will grasp the meaning of it and grow. Working with these kids only for a short while, I understand why some people wouldn't stay there long...it's the kind of job you can't take personally. Being called names goes in one ear and out the other. (you know the Charlie Brown cartoon when the teacher or principal is talking...."Wa Wa Wa, WaWa, Wa...")
       This all seems so surreal to me because I never dreamed that my dream could come true, then I'm brought back to reality when a child is throwing a temper tantrum, throwing milk all over the kitchen floor like it's a game...when a book goes flying through the air, etc. It's during the time when my heart is pounding in my ears as I try to figure out what they are going to do next and my adrenaline is pumping wondering if this needs to end in a restraint, that I remind myself that we have to get through this rough part before they begin to heal and change. I've heard that many change, and that brings hope to my heart because I know that what I am doing is so worth it...so worth doing...changing a life.