So LIVE

Words fly my way, stabbing me to the core
Should I take them to heart?
Should I really care?
I care too much and that's why I bleed...
Words flying at me, like arrows in the wind
You don't understand what they do to me
You don't comprehend where they hit,
Where they push me off the edge...
How can you? You aren't who I am.
I don't blame you at all...
I think I used to blame you all,
Then I realized this...
I have a choice to LIVE, really live.

Terrors in my soul, telling me who I should be
I tell them to go away, leave me alone
I know I'm not crazy, no matter what you say
I just know that I have to STAND for who I am
I don't have to apologize for who I am
You need to SEE ME...see the real me
If you don't, you will never stop throwing darts
Killing my inner soul, because that's me.

So, I stand here in the cold, not knowing what to say
I stand here in the night, eyes burning in the wind
I slowly understand that it can't be you anymore
You can't live for me anymore....
So, I shake my fist at the fleeting air and say,
It's me.......SO LIVE!


*The above post is a declaration of freedom, freedom from the words and accusations of others. You see, we so often live our life the way other people want us to live instead of the way God and the Bible want us to live. We are like a puppet on a string, dancing here and there never really living a life of our own. God gave us free will, but the average person has no concept of that very thing...free will. Most often we go through life living the way we perceive others would have us to live. How do I know this? Because I grew up this way and watched many many people live that very way. Then there were the few who knew that that wasn't for them, and they were brave enough to be themselves. We often looked at them as rebels in the youth group, but the truth of the matter was, we were scared because they weren't going "our direction." My question is what is "our direction"? Why is it that we have to have a model and then pattern our lives after that one pattern of living? I realize that Jesus is the ultimate pattern, but I do know that he gave us free will. Yes, we are to be like HIM, but everyone thinks it's their way. I say, search your heart, read your Bible, and ask for the Holy Spirit's leading. He will show you how to live. I have lived way too long caring what others think of me, and it's about time I break FREE from "that mold" whatever that mold is. Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. Stop judging people for what they look like or what they do. LOVE is the key to any relationship. LOVE is the key to bringing people to you as a friend. When you decide to stop caring about the questions and accusing eyes, then you know it's not all about you anymore....you start to know that these people are broken and they too want to be free. They just don't know how to break away from approval addiction. I don't follow man; I follow GOD. He is my ultimate teacher and guide. Just food for thought.