Bless the Lord

       I will have to say that quite a bit has been thrown my way within the last 10 years of my life. I can actually keep going back farther than that, but to be honest, most of the trials in my life started as soon as I graduated from college and began living on my own. I have had many things happen to where I could've chosen to turn my back on God. There were very dark moments when I was angry with Him and blamed Him for everything. It was then that I truly didn't know God very well but knew only what I had been taught, that He was this "big scary being that we dare not cross least he kill us." That is silly in hind-sight, but if you grew up like me, you will understand completely what I am saying. I would walk around in fear all of the time. I cared too much what others thought of me, and that ran into caring what God thought. But I hadn't really learned to think for myself, and I hadn't really read what God's Word said about God, how He is a just God, slow to anger and generous in mercy. Oh, yes, I did read it but I believed what someone told me rather than taking God at His Word.
       Through these past 10 years, I have been on a true spiritual journey, and this journey continues with great force even as I write this. I have found that I can now get over a "curve-ball" in life far faster than I have in the past. I can quickly seek out the good in a situation at a much greater pace than before. Just this weekend, I had to be reminded that forgiveness isn't all about the person but for me. Yes, it is right to apologize when you have wronged someone. Yes, it is very right to forgive a person who has done you wrong, but the truth of the matter is, they don't need my forgiveness....I need to forgive for my own spirit. To hold onto something  for so long truly dampens your spirit and stops all growth. Soon you are stagnant and oppressed and it spills over into other areas of your life. I know because I have been down that road. I have lived in unforgiveness for years. It did me no good whatsoever. In turn, I wasn't hurting those people who had wronged me. They didn't even know I hadn't forgiven them! They weren't losing sleep or being harmed! I was harming myself and those around me with my negativity!
       Just this week, I was thrown a "curve-ball," and all I have to say on the matter is I worked through it, prayed and now am over it. Yes, it still "smarts" a little bit because of what it was. I can really sit here and tell you how sad I am that a certain dream of mine has been put on hold, but I choose to focus on the positive and give many reasons that this was "meant for good."
    I will end with the lyrics of one of my favorite songs:

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes