Standing Strong

       Falling underneath a haze of guilt
     Lead by a power to walk away
   This fight within my inner self
Drove me to a place where I belong
       Tears built up like a stopped up dam
     Piercing even my inner soul
   Sending me to the blackest night
Knowing full well it's in my own strength.

       Don't run away
       Just stand there, still
       Look into my soul
       Feel what I feel
       Don't turn away
       Let me stay
       Break these inner chains
       You've bound by words
       I won't walk away.

       Lying to myself for so long
     Hiding 'neath the shadows of pain
   Swallowed up by pride alone
Knowing they'll all walk away
       Trusting in my own pure strength
     Ever failing every time
   Knowing that in You alone
Is where it'll all be washed away.

       It's through Your strength that I'm made whole
     Through the power of the spoken Word
   It's through the promise, never failing
Washing all the darkness away
       Cleansing my spirit made whole
     Breaking these inner chains to set me free
   I step forward and don't look back
It's through the Words spoken and through your grace.

       I stand here stronger
       With outstretched hands
       Praise and glory to the mighty King
       Lifting my face in adoration
       It's in Your strength
       It's in Your power
       That I'm standing strong.
  

10,000 Reasons to Worship

       Each day is new, bringing fresh beginnings...
     The sun comes up, adorning new life...
   I have air to breathe and legs to walk...
You died for only me.
       You, alone, bring me true peace...
     I bow in Your presence, lifting my hands,
   I walk in newness of life, renewed by Your strength...
I lift my eyes to the mountains, reading your gift to Earth.
       Your love is ever present in everything I see and touch,
     You majesty adorns the fields and the valleys...
   Your grace is new every morning, exceeding all else,
And your goodness endures forever.
       10,000 reasons to worship only You...
     You have never failed me and never will...
   You have a peace that passes all understanding,
And a loyalty beyond what any man can give.
       The sands of the sea could never contain these,
     Nor the oceans be truly full to show it...
   I lift my voice to the Heavens, arraying the evening sky,
My heart is full and my cup truly runneth over.
       Your heart is forever filled with kindness...
     Your grace is made perfect in all my weakness...
   You forgive when my strength fails me over and over...
Still I'll continue to fall to my knees and worship only YOU.

Musings from Charlottesville

       Yesterday, I went with my best friend to visit where she is going to be moving. I sat in the lobby of the hospital as she was upstairs in an interview, and I decided to take that time to sit, think, write, observe and just be still. Here is what I wrote:
       Sitting here at the University of Virginia near a pediatric and maternity ward, I am able to observe a variety of people including various nationalities and patients. The variety is vast from expectant mothers, stooped elderly Indian women to the young girl being wheeled out by a woman who appears to be her mother. Me and this particular girl lock eyes for a brief second...her beautifully knit baby blue hat covering her head as to cheerfully say, "Look at me! I'm still beautiful despite the fact all of my hair is gone from battling this monster called cancer." It tugs at my heart strings as she appeared to be around the same age as my own daughter, yet her eyes showed me an age beyond her years. These observations, these musings lead me to the same question, "What am I, Elizabeth, supposed to be doing with my life?" I wonder for a brief second, and then it dawns on me, no matter what path I choose, no matter what I decide, I will always work best at helping people, for it lies within my personal make-up. It is hard-wired within me, and it is who I am. So, writing will always be a huge part of me, but "acts of service" allow me to have the information and words needed to be penned and read by me and also others.
       I thoroughly enjoyed being out of my element yesterday. I had plenty of time to sit and think. I've been doing a great deal of that since Sunday afternoon. So much has been on my mind. I can feel a change coming in my life, and I don't know exactly what it is. All I know is God is laying on my heart to sit and think....sit and observe...sit and be quiet. I've picked up writing again. For a while, my pen had run dry. My words were gone...there was nothing to say. I wasn't sad or depressed, I just didn't know where the fire went. Now, I know that this is the time, the transitional period of my life to bigger and better things. I know that change is good, change is for the better. I realize that no matter where life takes me, God will always be by my side, guiding me each step of the way. Friends may come and go, but God remains forever the same.