Can We Go Back?

       Simple everyday living is often taken for granted. I have learned over the past couple of days that living in the moment, focusing on what's the most important, is what really matters. Sometimes we go too far one way, and it's just too much. It's almost like we set a goal that is so far out of reach that it's ridiculous and impossible. Then the mind shuts down, and everything we had hoped to accomplish is tossed aside. It's like we forget that for one moment in our life we had this dream, this spark, this desire to even set this goal. We forget how we felt at that moment. Sometimes, when I am in that exact moment, I want to just pick up a controller and push pause...then rewind just a tad, and feel that way over and over. Or, I want to take a canning jar and scoop it all inside and seal it tightly so I can feel that way whenever I want to...whenever I feel as if my world is spinning and I'm in a whirlwind. But, alas, this is what we call life. We can't go back in time, and we can't go forward. What really matters is the here and now. What counts is this moment, this time that you are currently standing in...I can get in my car and go to a farmer's market and breathe in the sweet smells of the countryside, and open my eyes wide and take in all of the beauty of the fruits, vegetables and flowers....gaze out over the fields of apple trees and watch the cows as they graze in the pasture. I can pull up instagram with my phone and take pictures of my children swinging and being goofy. I can record their laugh as they just about laugh at everything I do. Or, take for instance, a few nights ago, I decided to take a sunset walk with my Charity. As she held my hand and just talked to me, it was the most precious memory I've ever made. She is growing up so fast, and it's kinda scary. I'm taking a hold of every single moment, those little things become big memories later on in life. The very fact that my JW will take his blanket, wrap it around himself and roll around on the floor when he is out and out bored, is hilarious to me. I usually pick him up and tickle him or have him sit next to me as I hold him close. He's my cuddle bug, and I treasure that. It's the arguing about the best way to make bbq chicken as Josh and I cook together, then the hugs by the kitchen sink, the kisses by the stove. Or how I will be inspired about a spot in my book, and sit down and type as fast as I can between oven timers and stove alarms. Can we go back in time? No, and we can't go forward either....but we can live in the moment.

Of Coffee and Post Stamps...

       Have you ever had one of those days where it's probably better to lock yourself in a room away from everyone and anyone? Sure! We've all been there, including myself. Or, the possibility, you could maybe, just maybe climb into bed, pull the covers over your head, close your eyes and wake up on the "flip-side" could be another one of those days. What do we do when these days happen? Do we give in to these emotions, blaming this or that? Do we yell at the post-man or scream at the Dunkin Donuts barista? My years of experience tell me that this isn't the way to handle life. It's best to just ignore those feelings, tell yourself it's going to be ok, smile and talk sweetly. As much as we want to give attitude or really tell that person what we are thinking, in the end, when your mind is clear and those feelings are gone, things will be worse and feelings will be hurt. I have learned that it's better to not say anything if my words are going to hurt someone. It's better not to throw salt on someones wounds, and it's better to think everything through before responding in any given situation. Have I perfected this? No, but I do believe that I am getting better and better every single day. It's alright if you when you get home, away from everyone, to have a really good cry. Crying has a way of cleansing the soul and healing emotion. As a writer/artist, emotions do seem to be more magnified. If you are an artist of any kind, you know exactly what I am saying. You know that the creative side of your personality has a way of allowing you to feel and see everything a little differently than the rest of the world. Learning to work with your personality, and learning to control yourself is a must. Not everyone gets that. Not everyone can see or understand when you are having a melt-down. Some of us have a gift...a gift that enhances our ability to get and understand how others are feeling. Sometimes we have a way of reading between the lines or understanding what is going on with another person without them having to say anything.
       So, to wrap things up, why don't we purpose to take control of our emotions, to allow ourselves to feel, but to keep them in check and take care of them at the appropriate time. No, it's not fair to holler at the mail-man or pound our fist on the counter at our favorite coffee shop because the first sip you take is one of solid sugar. :-) I'm smiling as I write this because being human can be hilarious when you think about it! Allow yourself to be human, but learn from your mistakes and move on with your everyday living. Chow!

Sweet Wild Rose

Her bite is bittersweet, cutting down one’s pride yet soothing one’s soul

Her touch is effervescent, relieving one’s inner wounds and healing one’s fear

How I long to sweep her off her feet, how I desire to make her mine

How I treasure every single minute, hold close every single word spoken

How I close my eyes and imagine the life we would share on this earth

Walking hand in hand, sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings

How I lay back and I see what we could be, the best of friends

Though many would mock me to scorn and say I’m truly gone mad

Though it would be an outrage, a disaster in the making

I simply cannot care, for to lose her would be to lose a piece of my heart…

That piece that is most vital to my mortality, that part that is needed to keep me alive

I must not let go of this sweet soul, sent my way for this very purpose

I must pull her out of her field of wildflowers, for she stands out among them all, my sweet wild rose.