I Have a Question

I have a general question, "Who can really be themselves without fear of judgment?" I grew up kind of hiding who I really was because of the judgmental people all around me. I have to say that I still kind of hide because so many people think that theirs is the only way to live this life. I think that if we could really be totally free of this weight, we could really be free to live our lives to God's way....just because you think one way is the ONLY way, why do you really have to make it a point to tell someone how they are living is wrong? That, my friend, is the Holy Spirit's department. Say, I do something you don't approve of, is it really your place to put me in "my place" and "make sure I get back on track?" I may sound that I am frustrated, but I watch over and over this judgmental spirit and how it attacks the church family from the inside out....we can't seem to get over ourselves and truly love "the brethren." Seriously, what do you think the meaning of LOVE is? Love is giving of yourself totally and irrevocably to the other person without wanting anything in return. So, there are few people that I have met who truly know the meaning of that word. Two of those people are great men of God, and one is my dad...he taught me a few years ago that most Christians don't really know what LOVE is. The case being, most are constantly gossiping and saying things before they even think of the consequences. I really know deep in my heart that I haven't arrived, but I can honestly look you in the eye and say that I am on my way because I want to love like Jesus loved while He walked on this Earth. I know that HE LOVED publicans and sinners....that would be like loving politicians and drug lords today....not only that, but it would also be like loving the person who just made a mistake and just wants to come back to church....loving the person who went off and committed adultery or even had an abortion.....loving the drunk, the drug addict, the homosexual, the person next to you who tries to be a good American citizen. Why can't we as Christians see this? Oh, we say that we know love, but we don't.
We say that we accept people, but the looks say it all. Why do you think that people say, "The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife!" That's a famous statement because not only can you tell how someone feels by their body language but also, you can feel how someone feels because you can feel how someone feels about you. I could be standing perfectly still and thinking that I can't stand you as I talk...all the while, a smile can be painted on my face, and I could be agreeing with you by nodding and saying that what you're saying is awesome....but you aren't fooled. Most people aren't that good at hiding their emotions. I can stand and talk to someone and really tell if they are listening or if they judge me. I can stand and talk to you, look you in the eye, and be able to tell if you are real. I am not gifted; most people can sense how you feel about them. It's what some would call "the sixth sense."
So, my question is this, "Do I live what I speak?" I truly am working on myself. I truly have a lot to learn. Hey, I am trying to see if I can gain my Master's Degree, and I am almost 30! I really don't know what direction I will be taking, but I do know that I will not leave God behind, nor will I cease from teaching my own children what the meaning of true love is. They learn the best by my own actions. So, as I strive to better myself, I will constantly be reminding myself of these improvements and adjustments that are needed in own life.