A New Perspective

    I watched the movie Soul Surfer the other day with a friend of mine, and a statement still rings clear in my head today..."Sometimes, you need a new perspective..." After being attacked by the shark that took off her arm, Bethany questioned, "Why me?" I admire the courage and faith she portrayed through this attack. Just last night, I was not attacked by a shark but I was attacked verbally. I may not have been injured and lost a limb, but feelings have to heal as well. I am working at not taking what people say to me to heart...to differentiate truth from fiction is a major goal in my life at this present moment. I don't have to take your words to heart especially if you are a broken person inside. Hurting people hurt people. Sometimes we are too close to a situation and we need to take a step back and get a "new perspective." Up close, it may seem like this person is something else, but if we just take a minute to stand back and examine the whole situation, we may see what we've been missing. And so, today, I sit here writing as I get ready for another day at my job (which I love, by the way) and instead of gearing up for more abuse, I've decided to just love these girls. That's all they want...they want a voice, to be heard, and they want to be loved with all of their faults. Today, I'm taking on a new perspective.

Starting Over

       For as long as I can remember, I've battled the great battle known to most Americans, weight...This is a touchy subject for anyone. I think that this subject has been on the for-front of my mind since I was about 14. That's an awful long time to have something haunt you. I could go on and on about how everything went down-hill and where everything went wrong, but that doesn't change the present. It doesn't make anything better or justify where I am now in my life. All I know is that I am so ready for this battle to be over once and for all. I'm ready to take a step forward for good and never look back. I'm ready to be healthy and strong along with in shape. If you've never been where I am, then you don't understand. I know a few people who look at people like me and roll their eyes, saying things like, "You would be in shape and not eat wrong things if you truly love yourself." That is a true statement for sure, but some people just don't understand because they've never been where I am. They've never known a day of struggle. They will continue to look down their noses at people until they take a good look in the mirror and realize that the inside is just as important than the outside. But that's not all this is about....I could sit here and write about the very hurtful things people have told me...some just don't get that words are like swords that stick deeper than a blade. But I've decided to work on loving myself. If I truly love myself, I will take care of myself. It's not prideful to take pride in your body. It's not wrong to look in the mirror and call yourself beautiful. It's not vain to feel good about yourself. So, starting today, no one can help me but me. My friends can't save me, my kids can't save me, and my husband can't save me....I am the only one who can save me. I've decided today to START OVER. It's not ok to mess up....it's no longer ok to just eat a little bit of this or that....it's not a-ok to drink that because it's just a little bit. Excuses mean nothing anymore....there is no room for excuse because my life depends on it. I'm not waiting til I'm told by my doctor that either I do this or my health is gone. I can't wait for all of that. I've already had many a health problem in the past, and I'm just done. I'm done feeling bad for myself; so, don't feel badly for me. I wouldn't look at somebody and tell them how ugly and fat they are; so, I am no longer allowed to look in the mirror and do that to myself. I would NEVER tell someone they are a failure in life....I am no longer allowed to say that to myself. I don't practice hating others, but make it a part of me to love them....it's time to LOVE ME. Here's to starting over...