The Next Step

       Just this past Wednesday, my princess, Charity Joy, graduated from kindergarten with the most improved student in her class. This year has been a journey for us all, but God gave her an awesome teacher and helper. I think we were all beside ourselves at first, but Charity really matured this year and showed us all just how smart she is. She has such a passion for writing, even now. I think she may be taking after me in that part. I see so many papers laying around the house with her writing all over them. I never once doubted her ability to learn because I knew that she had a passion in her heart. I think she just struggled with the fact that she wanted to have EVERY answer right the first time and a mistake in her mind was the end of the world....so she froze. That smile, that she wears every single day of her life, is the sweetest smile I've ever experienced. Her smile in itself tells the whole world, "I'm beautiful inside and out." Charity knows no stranger as she would talk to everyone if I let her...I believe I've taught her well though to not talk to strangers. :)
       I believe with my whole heart that she is my angel...God gave her to me right when I thought life couldn't get any worse. She was my light in the darkest of my days. When I couldn't see light at the end of the tunnel, I'd just look in her crib and watch her sleep. She was a sign of peace when there was turmoil...a source of love when there was hate. I named her the right name...CHARITY for the LOVE she brought my heart and JOY for the great joy she brought and brings to us all. I still remember the "surreal" feeling I felt when I first set my eyes on her little red face as her chin quivered and she cried as she entered this world. My mother's heart instantly loved her more than anything.
       Her never ending energy often frustrated me because I didn't know how to keep her entertained. Josh, my hubby, helped me alot in understanding her in that sense. He said he was that way when he was little...never ending energizer bunny! :) I'm not frustrated anymore as I've grown to understand that she is so creative with her hands. As long as she is doing some kind of craft or work, that girl is happy. As long as her hands are busy, she is calm.
       Now, onto the next step in her life....I know she will shine in whatever she does. I have faith that she will continue to excel as she has the same thirst for knowledge that I have. I love you, Charity Joy, and I'm so very proud of my princess.
      

When Faith Becomes Reality

       When you close your eyes while on this earth
         And open them above
       Your faith becomes reality
         As you see your Savior's love.

       You enter past the pearly gates
         What you see is more than read
       Your faith becomes reality
         While on those streets you tread.

       It's more than mind can fathom
         Far greater than words can paint
       Your faith becomes reality
         When you meet up with the saints.

       You stand before your Savior
         Then bow before His throne
       Your faith becomes reality
         It's by His grace alone.

       So, weep dear friends and loved ones
         But do not cry for long
       One day your faith will come to light
         And you'll join the saints with song.

*Dedicated to one of America's most gifted musicians, Rick Bartel. What you have taught and left behind will forever be remembered by many. We'll see you again someday.

      

Reflections

       I often come to places in my life where I sit back and reflect on my past memories and future dreams. I've been doing that alot lately. It truly seems like a lifetime ago that I was a teenager going through life wondering when I could be "free" from what I thought was smothering me. I then went off to college and wanted to be "free" from myself as I saw myself. I was always striving to please others around me especially the people I looked up to the most. I felt that I was constantly letting people down because I didn't do this or that. You would think that I would've gotten into a world of trouble with that mentality, but I really didn't. Instead, I was caught up in a web of "approval addiction." I distinctly remember crying myself to sleep at night because I was so torn as to who to please the most never once thinking that this is pure craziness. You can't please everyone, and you most definitely won't. If I had to do it all over again, I would do it all different. I would be pleasing myself and my God while all others looked up to me. I have gained a sense of confidence in the past year knowing that I have the ability to change my life and the possibilities are endless of what I can do. I know that whatever I put my mind to will be done, and I know that and goal I set, I can achieve. I couldn't go through life without my God. He has made me stronger and more confident. We all mess up and make mistakes...it's just what we do afterwards that counts. We may have to pay a price, but if we just learn from our mistakes and help others, that's all that matters. Learn to walk the "love walk" and others will see you as different than everyone else. These are just a few of my reflections this time around...